Need help with the whole maid/babysitter/child minder scene

[aster]

For starters I do not need anyone full time. 2 days per week would be ideal, thought 1 day will still do if nothing else can be arranged. Still better than nothing which is what we currently have...

I would like someone to primarily come to stay with the kids (7 & 4) when we go out as we haven't had a night out together with my wife for over 5 years now.

Ideally I'd like someone to come in the evening midweek and stay until midnight or so, as well as once during a weekend overnight. We have a spare bedroom, so no sleeping in a "bomb shelter" or anything like that...

What is the best way forward for us? If we settle for once-a-week on a Saturday night for instance, will we be better off with someone introducing us to their helper so that she could make some extra money on her day off (Saturday night running into Sunday)?

Not sure how to approach this to be honest. We are very easy going but it seems the major stumbling block is that we do not need someone 24/7.

[Beeroclock]

will we be better off with someone introducing us to their helper so that she could make some extra money on her day off (Saturday night running into Sunday)?

I wouldn't do this even though it would be the most practical solution.... clearly breaking the law and will put yourself, the helper and the helper's employer all at risk if it gets found out.

I have a helper myself so not familiar with the babysitting/part-time nanny companies here, but that is where I would look.

[aster]

Sorry, I didn't think spending a few hours babysitting if one chooses to make a few extra bucks on their day off would lead to any issues. Strange this...

[Beeroclock]

Sorry, I didn't think spending a few hours babysitting if one chooses to make a few extra bucks on their day off would lead to any issues. Strange this...

No need to apologise, I wasn't sure if you're aware or not, but when you employ a helper MOM makes it very clear, and it will be very clear to the helper too that this is not allowed.

Personally I wouldn't consider, even if it's with trusted people/friends and everyone is cool with it and promises to keep quiet. You never know what might happen in future, if the helper subsequently has a dispute with her employer and goes to MOM and raises all of this. It can come back to bite you.

A variant which "might" be okay, if you have some friends who have a helper, and your friends invited your kids over for an evening playdate / sleepover. Then the four of you go out for a meal/drinks whatever. And the helper is willing and agrees to look after your kids too. After that you might give the helper's employer some cash to pass to her as a special bonus.

Not sure if this suggestion will work for you, but it seems to me it should be allright provided the helper willingly agrees, she stays in her employer's house, and any extra cash is given by her employer not you.

But one of the proper babysitting companies might be the better solution ?? 5 years is far too long for a date night !

[Hannieroo]

I have a friend who has a mature helper, a live out lady (legally). He's leaving in summer so I know she has slots coming up. Do you want her contact details?

[aster]

Many thanks and yes please - could you PM me the details?

Would your friend be departing in early Summer or later on?

[aster]

Just out of curiosity, does anyone else use a live-out helper or has everyone opted for the regular, live-in approach?

[Beeroclock]

Just out of curiosity, does anyone else use a live-out helper or has everyone opted for the regular, live-in approach?

i looked into it for a legal, Mon-fri 9-5 type arrangement but was told it will cost around 2.5-3k per month and with very low chances of success/retention (ie likely to quit within a few weeks). Most of the agencies didn't even want to try as it's just too hard. They told me there are very few locals who want to do this kind of work.... So I ended up opting for live-in.

[BedokAmerican]

Aster,

You could try the forum classifieds, as there are several Singaporeans available for babysitting from about $10-$15 per hour.

http://classifieds.singaporeexpats.com/ ... php/cat/96

Of course, you'd probably need to check their identification to be sure they're Singaporean or PRs.

[TryingTBBMom]

Singapore is not like a lot of Asian countries that are very loose on laws about your domestic staff. MOM has a full website on FDW's rights and Employers Responsibilities. The last thing you want is to break the law here. Cost wise it may be more beneficial to just have a live in. I know if your not use to it, it will be an adjustment but with a 4 and 7 year old, as a parent I would want consistency and a bond with whomever is caring for my kids. I have out of sheer necessity had to hire a unknown sitter from time to time but I can tell you, I did not enjoy myself, as I worried the entire night. You can tailor your FT live in schedule as you need. You only are required to pay her salary, levy, medical and Ins. if you do the math at 10-15 per hour and transportation for a PR or local (who by my experience do not like sleeping over as they have a home ) will cost you more. They are also few and far between and if they are good, than rarely are they not booked. A PT agent will also charge a fee if you go through them. on a positive note... If you find a good live in she will also ease the transition and allow for a more social adult experience here. My husband travels a lot and with kids, my life is very much dedicated to their needs. It's quite easy to find that as busy lives take over as partners you spend little "alone time" unless you make an effort.
And lets be honest, there is no shortage of distractions here for the men.
So if I had to then stress about finding a trustworthy sitter, it would put a damper on my date nights with my Husband.
My amah has been with me for over a year now, after a not great one we had to replace, so fit is really important.
She works well not because she's the best cleaner or cook, but because she loves my kids, respects our family dynamic and is honest.
I do not get in her business and she respects our rules. We support her desire to educate herself and assist when we can, and she appreciates her privacy and knows we are there if needed. Today I am lucky, as I have had Amahs that have not worked out well and during those times I question if it's all really worth the hassle. It sounds by your post that having good quality time is important, and that's great. This is just my opinion… hope it helps