what to say to reject 1 who tries to borrow >5k but will..

[tanoshii]

'what to say to reject one who tries to borrow few thousands but will takes a very long time (years) to return?'

What other beside saying no, support family, repay mortgage loans, investment, marriage plan, studies plan, insurance?

the situation that I am facing now is I have to think of a reason that sounds reasonable..

[PNGMK]

"We have our own needs and savings to plan for; sorry we can't help".

[nutnut]

Tell them straight, ask them how long they expect to take to pay it back and what kind of assurance you have from them. If they can't pay it back, how do they expect you to feel about it?

[PNGMK]

Tell them straight, ask them how long they expect to take to pay it back and what kind of assurance you have from them. If they can't pay it back, how do they expect you to feel about it?

No, don't do this - too easy to acquiesce.

[Steve1960]

Might depend on who the 'one' is

Your mother? Your brother? Your best friend? An acquaintance?

[tanoshii]

Might depend on who the 'one' is

Your mother? Your brother? Your best friend? An acquaintance?

Its a relative who is aware of my family environment (financially stable)

I need to come up with a reason that sounds reasonable

[sundaymorningstaple]

Just tell them you want to keep your family environment stable and loaning money will just upset the apple cart. I have a extended family here who are ALL sponges. I've learned my lesson years ago. I'll give you $50 (but I care less if they return it) but if I loan you the money, I will get very upset if you do not attempt to pay me back just as if it were from a finance company, albeit, without interest. You burn me once, you have no credit rating left and you are on your own. Most if not all have already burned themselves, so I don't have that problem any more. They used to try to go through their sister (my wife) but that doesn't sway me at all either. Draw up a proper loan form and get their signatures and have it notarized. If they default, take them to court. It will only take once. You don't need a reason to say no. If they take offense, what's the worst thing that can happen? They won't speak to you any more? Blessing, what!

[Pal]

Tell him that you have had a very bad experience with another relative, thereafter you prefer not to lend to relative.

[Addadude]

In my experience, loans to friends and family usually end up being donations. If you don't want to be a donor, you have to be strong enough to say no. And if they don't want to speak to you again as a result, as SMS said, so what?

[Beeroclock]

Might depend on who the 'one' is

Your mother? Your brother? Your best friend? An acquaintance?

Its a relative who is aware of my family environment (financially stable)

I need to come up with a reason that sounds reasonable

If you want to help this person, maybe you can tell them while you will not give them money you are willing to talk/understand and offer any non-financial support/guidance if and when requested.

The money is a symptom/immediate need, but if you can find out the underlying issue of your relative, and help him/her to address it sustainably, then it could be a far more valuable contribution. As you know the saying, give a man a fish ...

[BedokAmerican]

Tell him that you have had a very bad experience with another relative, thereafter you prefer not to lend to relative.

I agree with this one. Maybe say it was an in-law, someone on your spouses' side of the family. Say it ruined your relationship and you no longer speak. Something like that.

Like the other posters say, if you loan money, don't expect to be paid back EVER.

Often people see foreigners as people with bottomless bank accounts. Maybe suggest they approach their bank for a loan or line of credit. If they say they can pay you back, then they shouldn't have a problem paying back the bank. Tell them this is they push the issue. If it's too embarrassing in person, do it by email.

[Steve1960]

In my experience, loans to friends and family usually end up being donations. If you don't want to be a donor, you have to be strong enough to say no. And if they don't want to speak to you again as a result, as SMS said, so what?

Exactly my experience with the wife's family. the phrase 'can I borrow' really mean't 'can you give'. When my wife got tired of it she said no more and some of her family we do not talk to anymore, some accepted it. That is just the way it is sometimes unfortunately.

[Mad Scientist]

Do what I do and it always work me

Tell him/her (the borrower)

" Sorry, my plate is very full at this moment. I cannot take in anymore"

"Let's be friends and not severe this friendship"

They will get the message

[JR8]

I recognise a lot of what is said from the previous posts.

I'd never lend money to someone ('a friend') I cared about: Rather, I'd never do it AGAIN. It is usually IME a 100% proven way to destroy a relationship. And equally I expect such a person would never ask me. I've learned that lesson.

Point them towards a bank (or here, a pawn shop?) to get a loan.

Just because you're an expat doesn't make you an ATM for the extended family.

[Wd40]

I have done this before, refused to give a loan to my uncle. Not that he wont return it, but I will have to pay him by cheque and he will give me cash(black money) without interest and after a year or so later.

How I did it? I told him all my money is in mutual funds/fixed deposits with heavy exit load if I terminate them early.

This worked in my case because my uncle didn't really "need" the money. But if someone really needs it and you have it and he is a relative, then I think its hard to refuse and yet maintain ties. Especially in the Indian setting. Something tells me that the OP is also Indian.