Does it make sense to move back to India in this situation?

[x9200]

He is simply unbelievable.

[rajagainstthemachine]

I know people taking plenty of time for marriage fixing and some of my friends have records of rejecting/getting rejected at the last stage after over 100 attempts.

Also in the Singapore society there is so much pressure to look good, slim, hot, whatever and then you need to keep looking hot and good looking even after marriage so that the partner doesn't stray. I seriously don't think its worth it.

was this like some PR application? getting rejected multiple times?

In every normal society except Indian it is the norm for people to keep fit and look healthy and look attractive for their own sake and for the sake of pleasing their partner, honestly there is nothing wrong with it.
nobody wants a shabby looking slob for a partner.

you are being rather shallow here, all the Bollywood actresses must strive to look good because if they don't nobody wants them in the next movie.
please stop being hypocritical.

[Hannieroo]

Staying as attractive as you can is self respect. It doesn't usually affect cheating, people do that because they are d**ks. Although I would probably cheat if called bold and demanding. Nothing would put me off more than knowing my balls were bigger than his!

[sundaymorningstaple]

The mental picture has got me ROFLMAO!

[Hannieroo]

I'm shaking my head at the sort of arranged bit. Yes, every marriage starts off with some sort of getting to know and seeing if there is a match. Otherwise it would be a lucky dip or abduction.

I'm a bit saddened that you think arranged means less effort is required. I would think knowing you were compatible would make you really want your spouse to fall in love with you, find you desirable knowing that you really could have it all.

[Brah]

I hear this every day. Many times a day.

What is with the "itself"?

That's Indian English for you.

I quite like the "... itself" and even the "I, myself, ...."

I like it very less

[Brah]

For the record, mine was a tongue-in-cheek comment, like most of my posts. The 'itself' is clearly superfluous. Whoa, I used that word twice today....

As for the right way of conveying this in English? - while I can't dictate what is right or wrong in English (seeing as I'm an American and all that) I can say what sounds right.
I stay in hotels and live in my town.

I take my lunch to the park and have my lunch there.

The "itself" comes from the direct translation from Indian languages like hindi, where its common to place a stress on something by using the equivalent of word "itself". "I, myself" also direct translation.

Just curious what would be the right way of conveying this in English?
"I want to stay in Singapore, really badly"
"I want to stay in Singapore and nowhere else"

"I must stay in Singapore" sounds wrong because it conveys a different meaning. It may mean that there is some obligation behind it.

"I must stay in Singapore only" is also commonly used by Indians, which also doesnt sound right.

[Brah]

They have Stardus.

Thanks Lynx, How about the local and Malaysian Chinese and Malays? Those who fall in love during the college or work, get into love marriage. But what about those that dont fall in love? I was assuming they go on dating sites or community clubs etc to find the right partner? Which is kind of arranged, except that here you are doing the arranging yourself, instead of parents isn't it?

[Hannieroo]

Maybe they don't get married. Or maybe they just live with Mr Okfornow.

[ecureilx]

Of course you do. So much easier to not have to use your own brain, so much easier to not have to introspect and examine what you need and have the courage to pursue it. Instead follow the well defined path - Study for a degree your parents choose, then get into a job they find acceptable, then marry the girl they pick for you at age 27, be a father by 30 and so on... Condition your child accordingly as well... and it goes on...

you summed it up nicely ....

[Strong Eagle]

Of course you do. So much easier to not have to use your own brain, so much easier to not have to introspect and examine what you need and have the courage to pursue it. Instead follow the well defined path - Study for a degree your parents choose, then get into a job they find acceptable, then marry the girl they pick for you at age 27, be a father by 30 and so on... Condition your child accordingly as well... and it goes on...

Wow! Serious wisdom, here. Wish I could buy you lunch and hear more.

[pisceangirl]

Of course you do. So much easier to not have to use your own brain, so much easier to not have to introspect and examine what you need and have the courage to pursue it. Instead follow the well defined path - Study for a degree your parents choose, then get into a job they find acceptable, then marry the girl they pick for you at age 27, be a father by 30 and so on... Condition your child accordingly as well... and it goes on...

Wow! Serious wisdom, here. Wish I could buy you lunch and hear more.

Why thanks SE!

[midlet2013]

As an indian, I thought people abroad from India are educated and logical. But thats not the case for a lot of them.

In my view , OP shd do this:
1. Try your best to follow your dream.
2. Bring ur wife on ur side. Tell her that compromising on ur dreams will make u bitter. But if she supports u and u succeed, ur life will be happier in the long run.
3. Ignore opinions of parents, in-laws, friends.

I wish Indians sucked at English. So that at least, they wont make repeated mockery of India on forums like these.

Arranged marriage is a backup which western societies do not necessarily have. But it does not make it better or worse. In fact, its hard to generalize. There are loving arranged marriages and screwed up ones too.

What astonishes me is that having a good education or job or living abroad does not change people one bit. They stick to their narrow minded traditional thinking. Its like they want a India with Western Infrastructure. This is probably the reason why we are not getting rid of social evils like caste, religion, social status, etc.

Of course you do. So much easier to not have to use your own brain, so much easier to not have to introspect and examine what you need and have the courage to pursue it. Instead follow the well defined path - Study for a degree your parents choose, then get into a job they find acceptable, then marry the girl they pick for you at age 27, be a father by 30 and so on... Condition your child accordingly as well... and it goes on...

Wow! Serious wisdom, here. Wish I could buy you lunch and hear more.

Why thanks SE!

[earthfriendly]

2. Bring ur wife on ur side. Tell her that compromising on ur dreams will make u bitter. But if she supports u and u succeed, ur life will be happier in the long run.

Yeah but what if his dream conflicts with her own dream? A marriage is about making compromises and being flexible. If one party insists on having his /her own way, it will not work.

[the lynx]

2. Bring ur wife on ur side. Tell her that compromising on ur dreams will make u bitter. But if she supports u and u succeed, ur life will be happier in the long run.

Yeah but what if his dream conflicts with her own dream? A marriage is about making compromises and being flexible. If one party insists on having his /her own way, it will not work.

I will have to agree with that.