Does Singapore deserve its 'miserable' tag?

[Addadude]

Visions of SMS 'twerking' in the MRT station. Aaaaaaaaaaagh!

[sundaymorningstaple]

That could only come from an advertising mind!

[morenangpinay]

I have just read that a blind person with her guide dog was turned away at McDonald's jurong this morning because of the long line for the free mcmuffin the crew told her they can't accomodate blind people. That's just insensitive although the manager apologized she was still turned away. And the lady was complaining the crew shouted at her no dogs allowed.... There are only 4 guide dogs in Singapore I can't believe people can't accomodate them. If the crew only took a few minutes of their time to pay attention to her it wouldn't have cost them the bad publicity.

[rajagainstthemachine]

what were the others in line doing? Bystander Apathy anyone ?

[x9200]

My wife helped once a blind couple in the middle of Orchard Rd to get from one side of the road to the other and many people were like amused by this sight, pointing their fingers etc.

[earthfriendly]

Some interesting comments on the forum section of Asiauno.com (uno=one).

Actually, caucasian culture & mentality is different. They expect ppl to voluntarily help hwich they may too. But they forgot that our culture may differ from theirs. Like what gatecrasher mentioned, how do ppl know you need help if you dont ask for help ? Of course, there may still be some (minority) who may not offer help too. Thats a reality in any place.

If you don't use it, you loose it.............

I call this as 'handicapped'

in US, they did a research on the convicted serial murderers, they found they are not capable to love or feel compassionate to others

I will not be surprise with most peoples here fail to trigger this emotion after stop using it long enough , the whole 'compassionate system' will just shut down totally forever

I had seen this on old peoples in bukit timah area, they stayed in landed, with several houses and condo at least, but they are not able to feel compassionate with others, in fact, I informally observed their behavior and researched, they don't do any charity or donation or helping others before, is a rather odd psychological make up

[x9200]

Some interesting comments on the forum section of Asiauno.com (uno=one).

Actually, caucasian culture & mentality is different. They expect ppl to voluntarily help hwich they may too. But they forgot that our culture may differ from theirs. Like what gatecrasher mentioned, how do ppl know you need help if you dont ask for help ? Of course, there may still be some (minority) who may not offer help too. Thats a reality in any place.

It really does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that a visibly pregnant lady standing in a bus would like to have a seat. Different culture and mentality - sure, but apparently SG government see this part of the local culture as something bad. How long is the courtesy campaign already around 30-40 years?

There are nice and courteous people here too so it is not like it is a complete disaster area but many too many behave like driven by low tribal kampong type of mentality seeing nothing beyond the tip of their noses.

[the lynx]

Some interesting comments on the forum section of Asiauno.com (uno=one).

Actually, caucasian culture & mentality is different. They expect ppl to voluntarily help hwich they may too. But they forgot that our culture may differ from theirs. Like what gatecrasher mentioned, how do ppl know you need help if you dont ask for help ? Of course, there may still be some (minority) who may not offer help too. Thats a reality in any place.

It really does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that a visibly pregnant lady standing in a bus would like to have a seat. Different culture and mentality - sure, but apparently SG government see this part of the local culture as something bad. How long is the courtesy campaign already around 30-40 years?

There are nice and courteous people here too so it is not like it is a complete disaster area but many too many behave like driven by low tribal kampong type of mentality seeing nothing beyond the tip of their noses.

Honestly, real tribal kampong mentality demands the spirit of altruism among the tribe members, at the very least towards each other in the tribe. I am sure a lot of people here have experienced visiting/living in a village. The people are very hospitable and they go out of their way to make sure their guests/visitors are well taken care of.

Now, put this in a metropolitan setting and see it fly out of the window. So I would say that this problem is the same everywhere in cities. Especially worse in 'wannabe' cities.

[x9200]

Yes, but in a society like this (city jungle based) a tribe = your fimily and the closest circle of friends. The whole rest are some different tribes that you can chose a) to ignore, b) to exploit, c) to avoid. Only supporting your own tribe gives you direct benefits and supporting some other tribes is a waste of your resources and in principle works agains your tribe.
That's how I see it at least.

[pisceangirl]

I think its human nature to want to be around people who are similar. The concept of tribes and communities is centred around similarities and common goals.

I've been thinking about what earthfriendly pointed out- "Use it or lose it".
Children especially learn by observation and what they grow up with here is xenophobic propaganda (on the rise), gadget craze (minimal "real" human interaction- I mean how can you notice anyone around you when your nose is glued to your phone/tablet?), and the materialism inherent in the local culture where you are evaluated by what you own and your position in the rat race determines how you've done for yourself in life . In view of this, compassion, helping others or rather putting another person before yourself does not come naturally.

[Allieee]

I think it is unfair to say that Singaporeans lack empathy. I think people in general nowadays lack empathy. I've lived in several countries and my experiences are very similar in all of them.

My sister-in-law lives in London and when she was pregnant she was constantly complaining about nobody ever offering her a seat on the tube. When I lived in Germany and walked on crutches for two weeks, people would pretend not to see me on the tube or the bus and just remained sitting. It's just a general thing. Sadly.

I think the journalist just wanted some attention and that"s why she wrote this controversial article.

[sundaymorningstaple]

The big difference is not that it doesn't happen in other countries, but the fact that this "Little Red Dot" with it's inflated sense of worth on the world stage, has a very bad habit of going around the world constantly exhorting everybody to "Hey Vinnie! Hey Vinnie, Look at me! Look at me!" so when sourballs pop up, it's in hard counterpoint to what they are always patting themselves on the back for all over the world. Number 1 this, number one that, etc., etc.

[Akimbo]

I mean how can you notice anyone around you when your nose is glued to your phone/tablet?)

The other day I was going home in the circle line, and I was standing in the middle, "slightly" glued to my phone where I'm practicing through a language app.

At one of the stops, the train decelerated quite abruptly, and a woman on her heels started falling down to my far side because she started to move around as the train was stopping. I quickly grabbed her before she fell, and the look on her face of surprise, gratefulness, and a small thank you. We continued to ride the train in silence after that, though...

Well, not that I'm boasting or anything, but how hard is that to do? To be mindful of the people around you? Helping others where it needs to be done?

Back to the issue in discussion, like what rajaga said, the country's collective empathy shouldn't come down from giving your seat on a transportation alone, or treating a blind woman with the respect she deserves as a normal human being. (I read that article. She said she wasn't angry with the first reaction on her dog. She was angry because the manager "assumed" she was going to order and stay in the McD to have her breakfast and therefore politely shooed her away with "We have a free Mcmuffin day today, sorry, but we can't serve you right now") but it should be from all aspects.

Which begs the question, "Do they have the mentality or specifically, the 'Accusing/not my problem' mentality because of the way they were brought up? Or is it because of the language?"

As I was walking the dog in the early morning, she stopped at one of the landed houses to do her business. As I waited for her, an uncle (imagine the stereotype with a heavy Singlish accent) came out from one of the houses.

Me: *Opening a plastic bag to pick up the poo*
Uncle: *Walked out of his house, saw me, then saw the green garbage bin in front of his house has a crumple of newspaper at the lid without it being pushed down inside* You threw this here? *with an accusing tone*
M: *Smiled* No, I just got here. I'm waiting for my dog.
U: *Saw the dog finish pooing* *Points* ooo, dog shit smelly. Pick it up.

I finished preparing the bag, picked it up and threw it at a garbage bin farther away.

I smiled to defuse the tension, but man, I JUST got there by walking my dog at 530am and was waiting for her. Why did you jump to the conclusion and started accusing me of something I never did?

I blame Singlish.

http://www.cracked.com/article_20744_5- ... nk_p2.html

[pisceangirl]

I mean how can you notice anyone around you when your nose is glued to your phone/tablet?)

The other day I was going home in the circle line, and I was standing in the middle, "slightly" glued to my phone where I'm practicing through a language app.

At one of the stops, the train decelerated quite abruptly, and a woman on her heels started falling down to my far side because she started to move around as the train was stopping. I quickly grabbed her before she fell, and the look on her face of surprise, gratefulness, and a small thank you. We continued to ride the train in silence after that, though...

Self defence move- heels really hurt- both the wearer and the recipient You have good reflexes Akimbo and the adrenalin does kick in when it should!

[earthfriendly]

Was walking my dog and she sat down to pee. House owner saw and snarkily "please don't let her do that, it is bad for the grass" . Okie....... She "what is her name?" Me "Bandit". She went up to my dog with more snarkiness "Bandit, you do not do that on my lawn! ". Yeap, she's my next door neighbor! Some nice neighborliness huh?

Nowadays, I try to walk her on the main street away from neighbors' front yards. I know not everyone is like that but just want to avoid drama. Such is life........... we can get wrapped up in our own little world, filled with material comforts and pristine lawn. Does it have to be a battle between "things" and "humanity"?