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Calling Other Mums Without Helpers or Maids

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the lynx
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Postby the lynx » Tue, 04 Mar 2014 3:35 pm

BedokAmerican wrote:Skyoo,

I tried to reply to your PM but it appears to be sitting in my outbox instead of my sent box. Hopefully it'll transfer to you soon.

I don't use the PM function too often, so maybe I did something wrong.

Forum regulars:
Is this supposed to happen? I checked the FAQ and didn't see anything about this. Thanks!


It means that the recipient has yet to view the message. Once it has been viewed, it will then be moved to sent box.

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the lynx
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Postby the lynx » Tue, 04 Mar 2014 3:37 pm

Guys, the OP has already mentioned that this thread is for her to meet fellow SAHMs who don't have helpers, and not for discussion on the morality/practicability of having helpers.

I think we should refrain from imposing our views, whether it is for or against, in this thread. We can always open a new thread to discuss this. Or even use an existing thread on using helper vs no helper.

Edit: Spelling Nazi self-correct :P
Last edited by the lynx on Wed, 05 Mar 2014 8:31 am, edited 2 times in total.

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QRM
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Postby QRM » Tue, 04 Mar 2014 4:02 pm

Travailes wrote:I'm at SAHD with 2 kids, lived in Sing for 3 years, and don't have a helper but not for reasons of temptation I assure you. Simply not necessary and my kids are tasked with jobs (as they always have been) that doesn't necessitate the need for servants. Personally, I cringe when I see how some of these helpers are treated, bite my lip and move on.


Another SAHD great to know.. my SAHD posse is slowly being cut down with all these job losses, loosing two at the end of this term so early morning golf etc is now getting tricky.

I am meeting up with two SAHD (one with a maid and one without) this Friday morning at the colbar, drop me a PM and I can give more details if you want to pop in.

Sokyoo
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Postby Sokyoo » Tue, 04 Mar 2014 5:12 pm

Wow, QRM, I've never heard of a SAHD with a maid! I'm not the jealous type but how does Mrs cope with that I wonder. Maybe there is no wife/partner I don't know but there's me thinking I'm in a minority, but that's got to be very rare.

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Postby Beeroclock » Tue, 04 Mar 2014 10:49 pm

the lynx wrote:Guys, the OP has already mentioned that this thread is for her to meet fellow SAHMs who don't have helpers, and not for discussion on the morality/practicability of having helpers.

I think we should refrain from imposing your views, whether it is for or against, in this thread. We can always open a new thread to discuss this. Or even use an existing thread on using helper vs no helper.

Edit: Spelling Nazi self-correct :P
hi Lynx, with due respect but is this really necessary? IMHO nothing untoward or out of line here and level of diversion is no more than usual for these forums, especially as OP herself is pushing discussion in that direction.

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Postby QRM » Wed, 05 Mar 2014 9:44 am

Sokyoo wrote:... but how does Mrs cope with that I wonder.


Could this be the freudian slip that reveals the sub conscious reasoning behind not wanting another young lady wandering around the house? :P

Actually most of the SAHD i know have helpers, their Mrs actively encourages it as they believe men are totally useless at house keeping. My wife chose the helper she made sure she had bad breath and a limp :D and one that we called Hotpants Eddie didn't last too long.

Its funny we were like you when we first arrived horrified at the way Helpers, cleaners, elderly, students, office - Service staff, children with learning difficulty, tanned foreigners, Disabled, Bank customers, those that play the Pink Oboe and people with suicidal tenancies were treated, we swore never to be part of that system but we now go with the flow and actually have two helpers, who are perfect they run the house like an Aman Resort, right down to folding the corners of the bog roll.

We treat them with respect paying 3 time the going rate, some of the locals say we are spoiling the market, I see it as showing the locals that the market is the one that is spoiled and need fixing.

I am not saying western values is the way to go and should override all local values, but there are certain standards any civilized society should have and that is looking after the most vulnerable within that society.

The fact that they have signed up for her 6-8 year stint with us shows we must be doing something right.

So while SAHD are still rare, SAHD with helpers are not rare at all.

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Postby Sokyoo » Tue, 18 Mar 2014 10:58 am

Bumping this thread to see if it catches anybody else's eye.
And no QRM, why just because I don't want a maid have to imply there is something wrong with me?? :shock: Yep, jealousy, that's what it's all really about...sigh... :D

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Postby Sokyoo » Tue, 18 Mar 2014 11:01 am

And also, it's admirable if you treat your staff like that QRM, you sound like the perfect employer, but the majority don't, and couldn't afford to do the same and that really sucks.

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Re: Calling Other Mums Without Helpers or Maids

Postby tarbaby31 » Mon, 15 Jun 2015 5:56 pm

Hello! I'm a chinese-singaporean mum of 2 (a 4 year old and a 11 month old) with no maid/helper. Glad to know of another maidless mum! actually there are quite a few of us around, but perhaps not so many in the middle to higher income group. it gets pretty lonely doesnt it, especially when you hear other mums complaining how hard they've got it, and that's despite them having maids etc. :P my older kid is in half day kindergarten and my little one is with me all the time, and goes wherever i go, which includes taking public transport to go fetch his sister from school and to lunch (out!) every weekday. we've got a routine going and though it gets exhausting, i don't mind it. evenings are more challenging, with the cooking, feeding, cleaning, bathing etc etc..feels like im running a marathon some days. luckily my husband helps after dinner when he gets home around 7pm. otherwise, hmm...just wondering how other mums like me with young children and without maids cope...?


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