Public Transport Etiquette

[pisceangirl]

I sit peacefully until the aunty next to me alight and one uncle sat next to me. He started to ask many questions, and since I'm friendly in nature, the conversation was ok at the beginning, then after he asked are you from China? --- his hand started to be super friendly.
I wanted to shout but I didn't want the people on the bus to STOMP me, so I just go off immediately. After that - my motto: avoid - avoid - avoid.

So sorry to hear about this. But don't you think your silence might have encouraged the "Uncle" to try this on other girls/women? Most molesters bank on the fact that victims will not report an issue for fear of embarrassment.

I used to be the type of person who will fight back on this kind of thing, but being here in SG for many years, maybe - maybe if I shout frantically or smack the uncle, I will be thrown to jail instantly.

I am horrified to read that you feel this way. No need to shout frantically, just look the guy in the eye and in a raised voice tell him to stop it. The last thing "Uncle" wants is attention being drawn to him. More often than not "Uncle" will get up and get off at the next stop(that is if the other commuters don't get to him first!)

[Sergei82]

I used to be the type of person who will fight back on this kind of thing, but being here in SG for many years, maybe - maybe if I shout frantically or smack the uncle, I will be thrown to jail instantly.

Really??? That's a surprise. Why do you think so?

[Sergei82]

So sorry to hear about this. But don't you think your silence might have encouraged the "Uncle" to try this on other girls/women? Most molesters bank on the fact that victims will not report an issue for fear of embarrassment.

I used to be the type of person who will fight back on this kind of thing, but being here in SG for many years, maybe - maybe if I shout frantically or smack the uncle, I will be thrown to jail instantly.

I am horrified to read that you feel this way. No need to shout frantically, just look the guy in the eye and in a raised voice tell him to stop it. The last thing "Uncle" wants is attention being drawn to him. More often than not "Uncle" will get up and get off at the next stop(that is if the other commuters don't get to him first!)

If we develop the subject further, she may just politely with a smile "inform" the uncle that she has gonorrhea. I think, the uncle will get out of the bus himself right away.

[iloverice]

Sergei! you give me a good idea,.... now must find the words in Chinese... hahaha

[pisceangirl]

I used to be the type of person who will fight back on this kind of thing, but being here in SG for many years, maybe - maybe if I shout frantically or smack the uncle, I will be thrown to jail instantly.

I am horrified to read that you feel this way. No need to shout frantically, just look the guy in the eye and in a raised voice tell him to stop it. The last thing "Uncle" wants is attention being drawn to him. More often than not "Uncle" will get up and get off at the next stop(that is if the other commuters don't get to him first!)

If we develop the subject further, she may just politely with a smile "inform" the uncle that she has gonorrhea. I think, the uncle will get out of the bus himself right away.

What was that Microsoft joke about posting forum replies that were technically correct and practically useless?

(On a separate note, let me develop the subject even further and imagine instead of getting out of the bus, Uncle responds with a "Me too"!)

[the lynx]

same experience as iloverice. have to be careful on the bus. sometimes i change seats.

Happened to me before too. And I broke his ring finger.

This happened in KL though.

[Sergei82]

What was that Microsoft joke about posting forum replies that were technically correct and practically useless?

(On a separate note, let me develop the subject even further and imagine instead of getting out of the bus, Uncle responds with a "Me too"!)

That is unbeatable... but usually those guys are not that smart. So start with my "phase 1", then if it does not work, do what the lynx does.

But I really dun want to have some damsel plop on the seat beside me and start breaking my fingers without warning, saying "I know you want me!"

[pisceangirl]

same experience as iloverice. have to be careful on the bus. sometimes i change seats.

Happened to me before too. And I broke his ring finger.

This happened in KL though.

Cheers the lynx!

Happened to me at a train station in Mumbai- I slapped the guy. Was fun to see him run out of there just as a crowd started to gather.

[earthfriendly]

Happened to me once. I was around 11 yo and took the bus by myself to visit my aunts. I was seated by the door when this bespectacled elderly Japanese man sat himself next to me. And the bus was quite empty. When he first placed his hand on my big fat thigh (yes, I like to wear short shorts due to the hot weather), I thought he was being grandfatherly and gave him a big smile. When he touched my thigh up and down, I realized what he was doing, I frozed and quickly got off the bus.

When I arrived at my aunts' house, they taught me if it happened again, to kick the man on the crotch "show him no mercy!" in hokkien. Next time, I will not be so understanding and I will pick his banana off its branches and render him infertile for the rest of his life!

But ladies, you need to ascertain it is really molestation. Mis-accusations happen.


http://howibecametexan.com/2014/01/31/w ... ese-train/

[x9200]

Damn. I am curious what is actually the fraction of women/girls that encountered this kind of behavior in the public transportation. I would not be surprised if this is like 90%.
Are these mostly in SIngapore Chinese/Malay uncles or this is only my unjustified impression?

[earthfriendly]

In my 20 years of heavy bus and then later when they implement the MRT train usage, only happened to me once, in SG. Can't comment on other countries.

[the lynx]

Damn. I am curious what is actually the fraction of women/girls that encountered this kind of behavior in the public transportation. I would not be surprised if this is like 90%.
Are these mostly in SIngapore Chinese/Malay uncles or this is only my unjustified impression?

Normally Singaporean-Malaysian Chinese uncles (hard to tell them apart anyway).

I have a colleague (SC) who is unfortunate to have a very lovely alabaster rosy-cheeked face, which is a very attractive feature for East Asians. She is often harassed by such men in buses or even on the street. One walked up to her, grab her hand and pulled and said in Mandarin, "Let's go. I pay." Another slid up an empty seat next to her in bus and start caressing her hand and further down. Some would ask her if she is from China (which gets her royally pissed) and how much her rate is (royally pissed x 10).

I realised this scenario is more frequent here than I thought.

[Sergei82]

Damn. I am curious what is actually the fraction of women/girls that encountered this kind of behavior in the public transportation. I would not be surprised if this is like 90%.
Are these mostly in SIngapore Chinese/Malay uncles or this is only my unjustified impression?

Normally Singaporean-Malaysian Chinese uncles (hard to tell them apart anyway).

I have a colleague (SC) who is unfortunate to have a very lovely alabaster rosy-cheeked face, which is a very attractive feature for East Asians. She is often harassed by such men in buses or even on the street. One walked up to her, grab her hand and pulled and said in Mandarin, "Let's go. I pay." Another slid up an empty seat next to her in bus and start caressing her hand and further down. Some would ask her if she is from China (which gets her royally pissed) and how much her rate is (royally pissed x 10).

I realised this scenario is more frequent here than I thought.

Which leaves a question: if I see your colleague (or any local/Malay girl for that matter) on the street and want to get to know her, how should I approach her so she will not right away think that I'm a sick pervert?

I think, we already have a topic somewhere about difficulties in getting to know local girls. So what now? Bus perverts is the reason?

[the lynx]

Damn. I am curious what is actually the fraction of women/girls that encountered this kind of behavior in the public transportation. I would not be surprised if this is like 90%.
Are these mostly in SIngapore Chinese/Malay uncles or this is only my unjustified impression?

Normally Singaporean-Malaysian Chinese uncles (hard to tell them apart anyway).

I have a colleague (SC) who is unfortunate to have a very lovely alabaster rosy-cheeked face, which is a very attractive feature for East Asians. She is often harassed by such men in buses or even on the street. One walked up to her, grab her hand and pulled and said in Mandarin, "Let's go. I pay." Another slid up an empty seat next to her in bus and start caressing her hand and further down. Some would ask her if she is from China (which gets her royally pissed) and how much her rate is (royally pissed x 10).

I realised this scenario is more frequent here than I thought.

Which leaves a question: if I see your colleague (or any local/Malay girl for that matter) on the street and want to get to know her, how should I approach her so she will not right away think that I'm a sick pervert?

I think, we already have a topic somewhere about difficulties in getting to know local girls. So what now? Bus perverts is the reason?

Dude, I trust that you have decent common sense to know the difference between "engaging a perceived prostitute" and "picking up a nice girl" off the street. I do not need to elaborate.

[earthfriendly]

Of course not lah, I just don't think there is too much stigma about bus perverts within the SG female population. It is not difficult to not be perceived as a pervert. Just keep your hands and body parts to yourself. Do not touch a female passenger "uninvited"! It is very difficult to find the right one. I hear it from singles in USA too. I see it as a number game. You just need to keep meeting people and not give up. One day you may find a good fit. It is a lot of work and there is no shortcut to it.