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To have or not to have

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profound or simple

To have or not to have

Postby profound or simple » Fri, 07 Jan 2005 1:48 pm

a baby ?.....late 30's , just married .....need help ??....why do ppl have kids ?

if you have to ask....

Postby if you have to ask.... » Fri, 07 Jan 2005 5:29 pm

Certainly don't have a child just because 'everyone else' has one or anything like that. You should only have a child if it is something you and your husband really want to do. If you don't feel the desire to have one, then don't bring one into the world. Raising a child is a BIG responsibility and the child deserves parents that actually want to be parents and want to do a good job.

Bubbs

Postby Bubbs » Fri, 07 Jan 2005 11:36 pm

Couldn't agree more with the postee before this. Having a child, at any age, is a HUGE responsibility. NOTHING changes your relationship more than having a child, nothing. They are not just cute balls of flufff who will lie there til they're 18 nice and quietly then leave home. HO NO. And every other parent reading this will agree with me.

They cry at three am, then four, then five. You get up and feed them and stand in the window thinking you're the only one in the world up at this time feeling so shattered. They cost thousands and thousands and it gets more and more as they get older.....(school trips, uniform, toys, tennis lessons, karate, scots, guides, pocket money...beer money even when they are old enough...uni fees...etc etc etc...cars....) but you see you will do it all.........Cos you will love them like nothing you've ever loved before.....and that's why they call it the Tender Trap....you want to be trapped by them as being without them is unthinkable and you'd cheerfully kill anyone who harmed a hair of thier heads....

All sounds theatrical? Don't you believe it. It's all that and more. It's truely and honestly a life changing happening. You have already started the ball rolling with your initial question.

My advice to you is to roll with it. The thought is already there and once planted it's so, so difficult to not have those thoughts. I look back on my 20 odd year old self and can't recognise myself as the woman who was so driven to produce. A biological imperative, and that's the truth.

30's is no big deal, either way, in having kids. Not too young, not too old....come on, you've years yet....HOWEVER....the only problem I would see with you and your hubby is.......Why not give yourselves a few more years together with just the two of you? Have some mad times, silly times...times when you don't need to think about babysitters, maids, car seats for kids and putting money aside for their education.

I don't mean for the above to sound miserable, it isn't. But please realise....your life will change beyond all recognition when that little scrap enters your life....almost always for the better...but honestly, some people do look back and regret their decesion, so think long and hard, it's such early days with you yet. Good luck though, and remember....enjoy.

profound or simple

To have or not to have

Postby profound or simple » Mon, 10 Jan 2005 9:54 am

many tx...i so needed to talk.

Been There

Postby Been There » Mon, 10 Jan 2005 10:02 am

It will change you for the better no matter how hard the going is initially
Dont worry..You will be surprised how you will rise to the occassion :!:


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