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Relocating, out - the 'outbound' mindset.

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JR8
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Relocating, out - the 'outbound' mindset.

Postby JR8 » Fri, 31 Jan 2014 11:14 pm

I've noticed that I'm entering a mindset where little things I'd have previously overlooked are starting to peeve me.

I suspect that this is the mindset of the person that knows he's leaving, and can therefore allow himself to be peeved about his environment. A state one otherwise suppresses such that life does not become intolerable.

You pause, delay your path, to hold a door open for someone. They breeze through - you the doorman - no acknowledgement, eye contact, nothing. Off they go ..... ....

Shall I do that again? I will work hard not to. Meanwhile, this is my personal 'discourtesy campaign'. Mascot? Gerald the Goat.

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Postby Wd40 » Sat, 01 Feb 2014 12:37 am

Its all in the mind isn't it? In my case its the opposite. Now its makes lesser and lesser sense to stay in Singapore, but in my heart I am trying to find even one reason good enough to stay, so that I can stay. At the moment the reason I have found is, if I move to India now, I will be a tax resident in India and will have to pay full taxes on the money I move to India. If I stay here until Oct, I don't have to pay taxes in India, until Mar 2015. So that is reason good enough to stay here for another 9 months, provided I get a half decent job that is. Also my house lease ends in Oct. Sweet! :)

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Postby JR8 » Sat, 01 Feb 2014 10:08 am

It’s curious. There is a state (arrival, presence) where you have to accept it, and so you do. You accept the noise, discourtesy, cheap-skating, brutal weather, and so on. I think this state persists, a sort of sub-conscious passive quiescence.

And then you find you’re leaving. I find myself more willing to assert my rights. To tell the uncle cycling at me down the pavement, to get onto the road, and so on.


p.s. @WD I’m not really talking about reasons to stay or go. More how ones mind deals with arrival/departure, what one is subconsciously willing to accept, and for how long...

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sat, 01 Feb 2014 12:29 pm

That one gave me a good chuckle this morning. I guess I've been, based on your description, in outbound mode for about 25 years now! :lol:

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Postby JR8 » Sat, 01 Feb 2014 2:24 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:That one gave me a good chuckle this morning. I guess I've been, based on your description, in outbound mode for about 25 years now! :lol:


Have you? I thought you were 'Prof. Loved-up' ;). Perhaps we should fear if you were to come to leave, the pent up oceans of spleen, foaming behind the creaky dyke wall lol.

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Postby kookaburrah » Wed, 05 Feb 2014 5:33 pm

I know exactly what you mean, JR8, and have felt the same whenever an open-ended stay became close-ended. I'm on the same situation now, and find that I don't feel quite as tolerant any longer.

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Postby zzm9980 » Wed, 05 Feb 2014 7:25 pm

kookaburrah wrote:I know exactly what you mean, JR8, and have felt the same whenever an open-ended stay became close-ended. I'm on the same situation now, and find that I don't feel quite as tolerant any longer.


52 hours and counting here. :cool:

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Postby JR8 » Wed, 05 Feb 2014 7:59 pm

52hrs and you're leaving, for good? :o

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Postby zzm9980 » Wed, 05 Feb 2014 9:25 pm

JR8 wrote:52hrs and you're leaving, for good? :o


I'll visit for work, and still harass you like your other favorite overseas posters, don't worry :P

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Postby Beeroclock » Wed, 05 Feb 2014 10:36 pm

Yes I know the feeling too.... I find motivation and short-term ism even more challenging than the tolerance. Once you know you're on the way out its a struggle to invest time and energy in anything that doesn't pay off here and now. Requires a conscious effort to keep watch to make sure values and standards don't slip....

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Re: Relocating, out - the 'outbound' mindset.

Postby chris_pilgrim » Thu, 06 Feb 2014 12:33 am

JR8 wrote:I've noticed that I'm entering a mindset where little things I'd have previously overlooked are starting to peeve me.

I suspect that this is the mindset of the person that knows he's leaving, and can therefore allow himself to be peeved about his environment. A state one otherwise suppresses such that life does not become intolerable.


you leaving?!? :o whyyyyyyyy!!!! :o

thought you could be a fellow Londoner with a shoulder to lean on .... but now that you are leaving (or thinking of leaving) :( .... :(
It is better to believe than to disbelieve. in doing, you bring everything to the realm of possibility.

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Postby JR8 » Thu, 06 Feb 2014 9:52 am

@Z Bwahaha!
Here’s one for you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVQAhhlq798
‘Peter, Paul and Mary - Leaving On A Jet Plane’


@BoC Hmmm, quite.
Also I think that, how when you initially arrive, you also are obliged to go through culture shock, and acceptance of local practices, there is an unwinding of that on departure. It doesn’t mean you don’t like the place, far from it, as (IME) however tough a posting has been, it doesn’t take long at all, even as little as hours) to start missing the plus sides. Maybe there is some small parallel with being ‘demob happy’, or allowing your individuality to re-emerge.

@CP No, not yet, and I’m still not sure when we might, but within a year or so I expect (unless we’re offered one last work posting ex-SG, that is too good to refuse, then all bets are off lol, once again). But my feeling is you can’t sit around for ever and wait for opportunities and events to present themselves. I feel there is a point at which you accept you’ve had enough. (And it could be that many people don’t stay ‘the cycle’ long enough to experience that... I don’t know).
That couples with my feeling that for most people, Singapore is not a place to retire. In fact don’t most foreigners come here, work for a few years, make their $$$s, and then leave?
So there comes a time for most people to leave. I imagine for most that’s either when they find themselves out of employment, or, find better opportunities elsewhere, or, decide to throw in the towel.

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Postby Beeroclock » Thu, 06 Feb 2014 10:55 am

JR8 wrote:@BoC Hmmm, quite.
Also I think that, how when you initially arrive, you also are obliged to go through culture shock, and acceptance of local practices, there is an unwinding of that on departure. It doesn’t mean you don’t like the place, far from it, as (IME) however tough a posting has been, it doesn’t take long at all, even as little as hours) to start missing the plus sides. Maybe there is some small parallel with being ‘demob happy’, or allowing your individuality to re-emerge.
Yeah, also a parallel with the general phases of life.... we start off a babies/children who are fearless and uninhibited. At some point reach middle age and become burdened with all kinds of responsibilities, expectations etc which can stifle individuality and lead you to do things you don't necessarily want to do out of obligation/financial pressure/etc. Finally in the later part of life, and as death comes into the equation, many people lose inhibitions and start to live their life more fully and spend their time doing the things they truly enjoy (as well as not tolerating fools ....). A bit philosophical/gloomy this, but reminds me of the famous steve job's commencement address where he points out the death is the important tool / forcing mechanism that creates action/growth/decisions. So I think it's a positive thing actually to have these looming deadlines that remind us time is finite and force us to make the most of it.

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Re: Relocating, out - the 'outbound' mindset.

Postby Primrose Hill » Thu, 06 Feb 2014 11:44 am

chris_pilgrim wrote:
JR8 wrote:I've noticed that I'm entering a mindset where little things I'd have previously overlooked are starting to peeve me.

I suspect that this is the mindset of the person that knows he's leaving, and can therefore allow himself to be peeved about his environment. A state one otherwise suppresses such that life does not become intolerable.


you leaving?!? :o whyyyyyyyy!!!! :o

thought you could be a fellow Londoner with a shoulder to lean on .... but now that you are leaving (or thinking of leaving) :( .... :(


Errrr I don't count as a fellow Londoner :shock:

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Postby Primrose Hill » Thu, 06 Feb 2014 11:46 am

JR8 wrote:@Z Bwahaha!
Here’s one for you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVQAhhlq798
‘Peter, Paul and Mary - Leaving On A Jet Plane’
@CP No, not yet, and I’m still not sure when we might, but within a year or so I expect (unless we’re offered one last work posting ex-SG, that is too good to refuse, then all bets are off lol, once again). But my feeling is you can’t sit around for ever and wait for opportunities and events to present themselves. I feel there is a point at which you accept you’ve had enough. (And it could be that many people don’t stay ‘the cycle’ long enough to experience that... I don’t know).
That couples with my feeling that for most people, Singapore is not a place to retire. In fact don’t most foreigners come here, work for a few years, make their $$$s, and then leave?
So there comes a time for most people to leave. I imagine for most that’s either when they find themselves out of employment, or, find better opportunities elsewhere, or, decide to throw in the towel.


I like John Denver's version too. I agree. Earn the $$$, fill that pension pot and leave. However, not sure if London is my retirement place either :oops: :roll:


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