I think it's kind of ironic to think your wife seems to be such a good house keeper, and yet my new wife doesn't know one end of a brush from the other, but i love her all the same, what i also dislike is that she is a business woman that also works 12hrs a day 6 days a week, and is far from domesticated. So rather then me help 50/50, I have almost all the household chores to do, and look after my wife and daughter.marriedwithkids wrote:ksl, thanks for pouring your emotion into that one. That kinda speaks to me because' I'm contemplating going through a divorce to go from 'marriedwithkids' to 'divorcedwithkids'.
I've married my wife six yrs ago after going out for 9 yrs because' it seemed like the 'right' thing to do, she being a high school sweetheart and all. Personality wise, we're miles apart. Now we can't stand each other most of the time and life becomes a living hell. We both work, have good jobs, and will get irrirated at the slightest things we do. 3 kids later, it's kinda hard to act rashly although I know if not for the kids, we'd be history with each other a long time ago.
We just have values that are too different from each other. She's very family oriented- believes in doing everything for children herself, while I'm the 'outsourcing champion'. Would love to have a maid, but she says no doesn't like it, and ends up being stressed up because she insists on doing everything (yes, even housework to her own standards) and ending up with no time to herself. Her idea of an ideal relationship is me at home every possible moment- no golf with friends on weekends ( I actually have to take annual leave to play golf with friends). My jobs requires me to do light travel (about a week a month or every two months) and she is now going bersek over the travel and has issued me with an ultimatum this morning- her & kids or job. I am choosing job and have never been happier. Am speaking to some lawyers for advice on how best handle this thing.
No judgement here just wondering- you BOTH work and she comes back to play housewife, mother and maid all in one? Does she get any help from you? could it be she is stressed a bit and feels resentful?marriedwithkids wrote:ksl, thanks for pouring your emotion into that one. That kinda speaks to me because' I'm contemplating going through a divorce to go from 'marriedwithkids' to 'divorcedwithkids'.
I've married my wife six yrs ago after going out for 9 yrs because' it seemed like the 'right' thing to do, she being a high school sweetheart and all. Personality wise, we're miles apart. Now we can't stand each other most of the time and life becomes a living hell. We both work, have good jobs, and will get irrirated at the slightest things we do. 3 kids later, it's kinda hard to act rashly although I know if not for the kids, we'd be history with each other a long time ago.
We just have values that are too different from each other. She's very family oriented- believes in doing everything for children herself, while I'm the 'outsourcing champion'. Would love to have a maid, but she says no doesn't like it, and ends up being stressed up because she insists on doing everything (yes, even housework to her own standards) and ending up with no time to herself. Her idea of an ideal relationship is me at home every possible moment- no golf with friends on weekends ( I actually have to take annual leave to play golf with friends). My jobs requires me to do light travel (about a week a month or every two months) and she is now going bersek over the travel and has issued me with an ultimatum this morning- her & kids or job. I am choosing job and have never been happier. Am speaking to some lawyers for advice on how best handle this thing.
marriedwithkids wrote:damselfly and Ksl: she's a control freak.Everything has to be done her way. The way the floor is swept, dishes, laundry. I've offered to help and she says she rather do it herself because' she ends up doing it all over again because it's not done her way. Which is why we've had a maid and that didn't work out. The control goes beyond this and I feel so repressed and stiffled in our relationship it's not fun anymore. A relationship should magnify the connectedness and love you feel, not repress it.
The only reason why I'm still in this is the kids. No doubt, she's a great mother and puts them above her own needs but she expects me to do the same as well. Can't live on love, bread and fresh air alone can we?
I've suggested counselling but she says it's her way or the highway.....gosh.
yes it is very tough on kids, I also come from a divorced background, and pledged to myself never to be like my father. I only knew my father to be a womaniser, and a cheat on my mother.AlexY wrote:My parents divorce when i was 9 and my younger sister was 6. I have college friends also with divorce parents they all say its because one or both parents had affairs but always blame the other and fight and say bad things about each other. I hate both my parents for a what they did to me and my sis. we r the adults and they r the children- they dont know how to behave with each other - since i was 4 yrs old already i can remember the fighting. i dont understand why they hve another child later- it got worse after that i think..i dont think i want to have children or get married.. im 19 now and have a girlfriend but i told her dont ever ask me about marriage
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