BBCWatcher wrote:"Because our friends are having kids and think we're odd" is a supremely bad reason to decide to have a child, which is at least what you implied. Please don't do that, at least for the child's sake.
With 100% zero malice, you need to have some sensitivity to Indian culture, when you come out with suggestions. Especially when the lady here seems to be educated and smart enough to have known what she was getting into.
In The Sub-continent, being single is taboo, beyond an age. Heck, it's bad.
And the parents will the ridicule of the town and will be taunted if their offsprings aren't married at a certain age. And suggestions will range from mild to extremely terrible.
Once the marriage happens, if baby doesn't come within a year or so, again, the parents will be taunted, ridiculed, and even may see invites for weddings etc being dropped- as the children who don't produce babies = unlucky parents = don't invite them for weddings where they will become back luck.
And there is a lot of social pressure to 'get things done'.
Again, I am of the belief you meant no malice, but, suggestions to go for artificial insemination, adoption etc are against a lot of sub-con peoples' belief that a) marriage will get things settled, and once married if things don't go the right way, b) having a baby will get things resolved.
And Marriage + Baby is the universal solution in the Sub-Continent for even schizophrenics, gays, seizures, intellectually challenged and all .. And yes, that's how things go.
I will try to reply to all others tomorrow
please do not judge me, none of you are exactly in my shoes.
I doubt anybody here is judging you, but it's a bit perplexing for you to come here, spill sordid details, and then insist you are not to be judged, and then I wonder what you would like to hear.
That you are confident that you are doing the right thing in sucking the soul and money out of the man who trusted you, well, I don't know what to say.