pisceangirl wrote:Wd40 wrote:I really like the Indian way of arrange marriage at a certain age and then having kids at certain, it removes this confusion of whether I am ready to marry or not? Should I marry or not? What if it goes wrong? Then after marriage, oh no, this is not what I expected, should we divorce? Same thing about having kids.
Besides one of friends told me this thing long ago which always keeps ringing in my mind. He said "After 3 years into marriage, it doesn't matter whether you love and marry or whether its an arrange marriage"
Of course you do. So much easier to not have to use your own brain, so much easier to not have to introspect and examine what you need and have the courage to pursue it. Instead follow the well defined path - Study for a degree your parents choose, then get into a job they find acceptable, then marry the girl they pick for you at age 27, be a father by 30 and so on... Condition your child accordingly as well... and it goes on...
Yeah, its a very risk averse formula. Low risk low returns.
Just wanted to point out that arrange marriage doesn't have to mean marry the girl your parents choose. Thats the very traditional definition. These days parents let the boy and girl meet, after all the horoscope matching, caste matching, class matching, status matching etc is completed and then if the boy and girl feel they share the same thoughts, interests and passion, its only then they agree to marry. I know people taking plenty of time for marriage fixing and some of my friends have records of rejecting/getting rejected at the last stage after over 100 attempts.
You probably know this, but just wanted to highlight for other non Indian forummers.
I dont know exactly how it works in Singapore. But from what I have heard its very similar, the girls and guys go on dating sites and then go meet each other and then see if they are compatible. But there is a drawback to this, there are plenty of people who are not so outgoing and not into dating etc and they are virgins and unmarried well over 30 years and their lives are screwed up. Also in the Singapore society there is so much pressure to look good, slim, hot, whatever and then you need to keep looking hot and good looking even after marriage so that the partner doesn't stray. I seriously dont think its worth it.