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New and homesick already

SAHMs / WAHMs tell us how you are coping.
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Joined: Tue, 04 Feb 2014
Location: Singapore-Zagreb

New and homesick already

Postby nina001 » Mon, 17 Feb 2014 11:58 am

Hi there, I moved with my husband and 2y old daughter few months ago.
We live in East Coast, moved from Croatia.
Today is my worst day I¨ve been here.I feel so homesick.
It is very hard to find new friends for me.
I try to stay positive because of my daughter.Some days are good.
Another problem is that my English is a bit rusty when I communicate and maybe that is the reason I hardly make friends.Although I write and understand very well but have a small difficulties when speaking.
My princess is going to playgroup in my condo but all I can see are maids with them. I understand that moms are working but is there any mom feels also lonely to have a coffee or chat about dealing problems and fun with kids.I like exploring city with my daughter and play areas in SG.
If anyone feels the same you can contact me on mail


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Postby martincymru » Mon, 17 Feb 2014 1:47 pm

There used to be a group "we did not sign up for this".
It was for trailing spouses who needed support here.
I guess it depends upon what you expected.

I live East Coast, single man and like it here.

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Postby QRM » Mon, 17 Feb 2014 2:24 pm

There are so many places to explore with a 2 year old, make the most of the time you have with your kid, before you know it they will be all grown up and having a parent hanging around will be terminally uncool.

There are lovely walks/bike rides along the east coast. Get a kite, scooter, etc.

Collect shells from the beaches ( you need to go to the off the beaten tracks one) if you have a helper get them to run ahead and plant fruits in the trees and bushes, so your kid can pick them and make a fresh fruit cocktail etc.

Even a Train, Bus ride is treat for a kid. Fishing at those kids fish joints is fun. so many things to do..

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Postby BedokAmerican » Thu, 27 Feb 2014 9:33 am

I totally understand what you're saying. I've been here almost a year and a half and I've only recently started to like it. I know what you're saying about only seeing maids with kids. Often I'm the only mom on the playground. However, after being here a while, I've met people around the condo and found that not everybody has a maid.

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Postby nutnut » Thu, 27 Feb 2014 9:37 am

Try going to East Coast Mums Support group on Facebook (it's a closed group) you can probably find some people there to meet up with.

Also, there are plenty of coffee mornings in Starbucks, play dates etc that I am sure you would be welcomed along to through this route.

Good luck, being homesick is not nice, I know my wife was affected when she first moved here, she seems to be fine now though :)

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Postby Hannieroo » Thu, 27 Feb 2014 9:50 am

There are loads of toddler groups on meetup. I'm many of the people in them don't have English as a first language. I have friend who speak very little (but considerably more than I can say in their language) and we still all get on very well. Plus you'll get better the more you practice.

Feel for you. Loneliness is horrid.

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Postby BedokAmerican » Thu, 27 Feb 2014 2:59 pm

One good way to meet other mothers is to go to your condo's playground or pool on a Sunday because maids often have Sundays off, so the parents are outside with their kids.

Another option would be to see if there's a Croatian association in Singapore. There is an Italian one: I know that Italy isn't Croatia, but it's in the same region.

I've used and still visit the site from time to time. It can definitely be a good resource for parents (free to join) but the only downside is that many of the "meet ups" cost money and it seems businesses use the site for advertising purposes.

Most of the meet ups for babies and toddlers are classes or sessions at indoor playgrounds, costing $10-$50 per event. Nothing wrong with that, but they can add up very quickly and they're often "trial by fire." For example, if your kid doesn't like to sit in a circle with others, he/she won't get anything out of the classes and you'll feel like you're wasting money. I've taken my child to music classes and he usually tries to leave the room or rearrange the chairs or cushions on the couch in the corner of the room. However, if your child doesn't mind sitting and listening, a music class might be perfect.

Indoor playgrounds can be nice, but it depends on the playground. Some are wonderful, but not all are "safe" and some are pricey.

Sometimes free meet ups are at parks, which is ok, but it really depends on your kid. If he/she likes to run off and do their own thing, you won't be able to talk to other parents because you'll be chasing your child around concerned you'll lose them because parks here aren't fenced.

I like the meet ups at people's homes, where the kids can just play with toys and the parents can sit on the couch (or floor) and talk. I've tried to host free meet ups at my place, but the way some of the groups on the sites are set up makes it impossible to get the meet up into a high-profile place on the site, so nobody sees it.

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