Joke

[BillyB]

Paddy hates his wife's cat so much he drives to the next town and dumps it. When he gets home its there. Next day he drives 50 miles and dumps it. When he gets home, its there again. So next day he drives to other side of the country and dumps it. Six hours later he rings his wife and asks ''is the cat home?'' ''Yes,why?'' asks his wife, ''Put him on the phone'' he says ''I'm f*cking lost.''

[lol67890]

good one!

[sundaymorningstaple]

A woman in a Jewellery shop admiring a big diamond ring, she bends over to take a closer look when a fart sneaks out... Hoping nobody noticed she asks the assistant how much it is? The assistant replies "Madam if you farted just looking at it you'll crap yourself when you find out the price.

[sundaymorningstaple]

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and
we all could probably use more calm in our lives. Some doctor on TV this
morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things
you have started.

... So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and
hadn't finished so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a
bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles,
tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the res of the
chesescke an a box a chocletz.

Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now.
Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss. An telum,u luvum.!!