arrontan74 wrote:Wow, looks that there are many of us out there.
My ex-wife filed for divorce after 16yrs of marriage, when she met someone at work. It was only after the divorce, did i learn that she was having an affair with a colleague. That literally knocked the wind out of me. Felt as if I couldnt breath.
The divorce finalized about 2 yrs ago. Shortly after, she regretted, wanted to get together again. Looking back I'm glad I didnt agree. She had one hell of a temper.
At times, i can still feel the anger and resentment within. Finances are tough, giving her $1k every month for our daughter. She demanded I pay for her car too
I have since rediscovered PS3, new devotion to work, and mediation. Life is ok. I'm sure things will be ok for you guys & gals out there too.
arrontan74 wrote:Can't really advise you on that one. The D -word came as a bomb.
There was a serious lack of itmancy in our relationship. I tried to do everything I could, read Man from Mars Women from Venus and stuff, learn that 'love making' starts from the moment we open our eyes in the morning, showering love and concern etc. Nothing worked. Other than that, all seemed normal in our marriage. We were getting ready for bed when she suddenly said she wanted a divorce.
When she wanted a divorced, i tried my best to talk her out of it. I offered for us to stay under the same roof, lead seperate lives, for the sake of our daughter. She refused adamently.
When I realised she was having an affair, I asked her to consider throughly. Looking back, it seems such a joke that I had to wait for her to decided between her lover and husband. What a sorry excuse of a man I was...
When I realise that there was no saving of the marriage. I told her I will not file. If she wanted too, I would not even contest. Do whatever she want.
Next thing I know, her lawyer called. I was made out to be the worst husband a woman can ever marry.
A silver linning came when either her lover or her, somehow, mistakenly send an email containing all their exchanges to me.
After reading the mails, I told her she was being played. Well she was in love and blinded.
With those mails I told her shes getting $1 a month for alimony. (I was underthe impression that alimony is a must regardless of grounds of divorce)
Next thing I knew, I recieved a letter from the Court. In it, it read that a judgement has been made, and I had 2 weeks to make my case, should I disagree.
Now I am paying $600 child support @ $400 for all the extra stuff my daughter wants to learn (with reciepts of course).
Her $1/month? Think I've paid $2 so far. Whenever she tries to create trouble again, I'll gently remind her, this was what she wanted and the evidences I have against her.
arrontan74 wrote:Wow. Things are tough. You are tougher. You have surmounted the past and continue to manage the situation with limited resources. Things can only get better, as the children grow.
I suspect your ex has a gambling problem. Personally, I feel that you have done good by getting out of his continual downward spiral.
Difficult as it may be, focus on things and people (the children) who brings joy.
I got through the worst patch then, by waking up every morning, looking in the mirror and being thankful for other things, for example, my Dad for being in good health, my daughter being a smart kid, for the great environment at work.
Hi Simplegirl, im going thru divorce too. can share more with u. pm or text me.simplegirl8181 wrote:arrontan74 wrote:Wow. Things are tough. You are tougher. You have surmounted the past and continue to manage the situation with limited resources. Things can only get better, as the children grow.
I suspect your ex has a gambling problem. Personally, I feel that you have done good by getting out of his continual downward spiral.
Difficult as it may be, focus on things and people (the children) who brings joy.
I got through the worst patch then, by waking up every morning, looking in the mirror and being thankful for other things, for example, my Dad for being in good health, my daughter being a smart kid, for the great environment at work.
True.. so now ur case consider its over? Who got the custody of the kid? U leading ur own life now?
simplegirl8181 wrote:Hi all,
I am newbie to this forum. I signed up becos I wanna share my story with u.
I am currently in amist of filing my divorce which was drag for more than 5years. Can i know how long will I need to wait till I get the 1st stage of interim judgement?? I understand that i need to get the interim judgement, wait for 3months before i get the final judgement... issit true?
Please advise.. thank you so much!
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