Do I need to pay my maid extra to babysit in the evening?

[Splatted]

But again, I'll repeat,.. if the long hours and ridiculously low pay is what they knowingly signed up for before stepping foot in the country, then they got exactly what they wanted.

Sorry splatted such a statement is simply garbage or at least as good as; a good many girls living in various Asian countries see developed nations 'through rose tinted glasses'. Either their poor education or subjugation of women not least by their own culture or societies see to that.

So you're saying then, that most are not getting what they expected?

And you'll note I preceded my statement with an "if", ie if the conditions were explained in advance, and they accepted (low pay, long hours)... then how?

[Plavt]

So you're saying then, that most are not getting what they expected?

I am saying a good many probably most wouldn't know what to expect.

[Splatted]

So you're saying then, that most are not getting what they expected?

I am saying a good many probably most wouldn't know what to expect.

Regardless, they don't come abroad as a blank slate. I believe most will have asked questions before going abroad. And there are many who aren't first timers as well.

[Plavt]

Regardless, they don't come abroad as a blank slate.

Conjecture dear fellow, conjecture...Here's something you might like to read as I have been trying to for some time now 'Global Woman' Barbara Ehrenreich and Arlie Russelll Hochschild. Perhaps a little dated but a good insight into cultural and legal understandings amongst other issues.

[Splatted]

Regardless, they don't come abroad as a blank slate.

Conjecture dear fellow, conjecture...

Perhaps... I'll admit my study sample (n=2) is somewhat limited.

[Splatted]

Yeah, you give shampoo, soap, and board to your maid. OOOOhhHH.. such a charitable humanitarian. I can see clearly how the maid feels part of the family.

Actually the smallest of mercies for for a girls from some of the poorer countries can make the world of difference. Not a few filipinas love to have a mobile phone along with cosmetics and other worldly goods. I will leave it to your imagination just how some might pay for such commodities.

Yet, a bed,.. toiletries , .. are essentially stock standard conditions. I laugh at anyone that boasts how great they treat their maid who uses these examples, and pity the person that provides any thing less.

[Plavt]

Yet, a bed,.. toiletries , .. are essentially stock standard conditions. I laugh at anyone that boasts how great they treat their maid who uses these examples, and pity the person that provides any thing less.

As indeed they are but then it's nice that somebody else is footing the bill for something - a little less out of the wage packet and maybe it doesn't stop at that, how would you and I know? Seems you just want to rant in order to prove your own point.

[Splatted]

Yet, a bed,.. toiletries , .. are essentially stock standard conditions. I laugh at anyone that boasts how great they treat their maid who uses these examples, and pity the person that provides any thing less.

As indeed they are but then it's nice that somebody else is footing the bill for something - a little less out of the wage packet and maybe it doesn't stop at that, how would you and I know? Seems you just want to rant in order to prove your own point.

It's not only nice, but expected, right (basic necessities)?

If they choose to pay for things over and above, eg make up , outings.. other perks.. that's a bonus.

However I only had two points throughout this whole thread, and I didn't knock anyone that gave additional benefits.

My two points were that:-
- if maids were expecting long hours & low pay and they agreed to it, then they got what they wanted

- employers will never treat a maid as they would true "family". Certainly they can make their working conditions comfortable, but that's where it ends.

And FYI, most of this thread we haven't even discussed these points but rather I have answered to the likes of Vauclause and his personal attacks..

but I understand his game now. If you can't win an argument, try and undermine the credibility of the person you are debating/arguing with. Either that or talk about anything else but the topic.

[road.not.taken]

Yet, a bed,.. toiletries , ...

And where is the lovely Wind in my Hair now? She of the new age, touchy-feely blog... Does anyone remember that crazy thread when she argued that maids don't want/need beds and it was culturally insensitive of us to assume they should have their own rooms? That sleeping on the floor in the children's bedrooms was perfectly OK? That some poor Singaporeans need maids but oops! don't have room for one...? Ah.... it's all relative, isn't it.

I just couldn't walk away without posting this intended jab at Vaucluse's literacy, which contains three spelling errors:

"Undefendable" was referring to your view point. But don't beat yourself up Vauclause, I wont hold your lack of qualification or literacy against you.

I think it's time to step away Splatted. You've certainly made your point. There is no winning or losing in this argument, just different perspectives. Time to let it go.

[Splatted]

I just couldn't walk away without posting this intended jab at Vaucluse's literacy, which contains three spelling errors:

"Undefendable" was referring to your view point. But don't beat yourself up Vauclause, I wont hold your lack of qualification or literacy against you.

And here we hit rock bottom... Told you all it was coming.

I think it's time to step away Splatted. You've certainly made your point. There is no winning or losing in this argument, just different perspectives. Time to let it go.

Yes, I agree. I wanted to step out of this topic 2 pages back of this thread. But this is the nature of a public forum - people are mean and nasty to you for no reason, and you are compelled to reply.

If this discussion were around a dinner table at a restaurant, I'm sure people would be asking for clarification on different points stated rather than resorting to personal insult.

Anyway.. this is really my last post, now... (honest)

[x9200]

Slight deviation from the recent focus... question: how often your maids try to abuse your kindness, courtesy, generosity? As per your perception. No 2nd bottom, I am just curious how this does look from your experience.

[road.not.taken]

I just couldn't walk away without posting this intended jab at Vaucluse's literacy, which contain three spelling errors:

"Undefendable" was referring to your view point. But don't beat yourself up Vauclause, I wont hold your lack of qualification or literacy against you.

I couldn't resist the irony, could I ~ just sitting out there in the open and I do have a reputation as being a bit of a fascist when it comes to grammar, so really - it was a perfect storm. Here's to a Happy Monday everyone!

[road.not.taken]

Slight deviation from the recent focus... question: how often your maids try to abuse your kindness, courtesy, generosity? As per your perception. No 2nd bottom, I am just curious how this does look from your experience.

Really, how can you quantify? We've had 5 maids in 15 years, 2 stole from us outright. The other three? It would surprise me a great deal if they had as well. I would say that was certainly an abuse of kindness and trust and about the average experience out there.

[x9200]

Slight deviation from the recent focus... question: how often your maids try to abuse your kindness, courtesy, generosity? As per your perception. No 2nd bottom, I am just curious how this does look from your experience.

Really, how can you quantify? We've had 5 maids in 15 years, 2 stole from us outright. The other three? It would surprise me a great deal if they had as well. I would say that was certainly an abuse of kindness and trust and about the average experience out there.

Oh, this is heavy... I even didn't think about such caliber... rather that you showed some "human face" and standard courtesy and they started to neglect their duties or asked for a rise just taking it as your weakness.
Is your last maid so good and exceptional that you talk about her in superlatives or still about the average experience just slightly better?
No need to quantify, qualification as you gave above is good enough

[Vaucluse]

Yeah, you give shampoo, soap, and board to your maid. OOOOhhHH.. such a charitable humanitarian. I can see clearly how the maid feels part of the family. Just because I don't have a maid doesn't make my opinion any less a valid one.

Well, actually it does . . . you are not in the situation, therefore cannot comment on the inner workings of said situation. One exception may be that you have studied the subject on an empirical evidence basis . . . which I doubt as that would be 'unefendable'.

Shampoo, soap, board . . . Yes, you're quite right . . . you are well versed in the inner workings of a maid/employer relationship.

I just couldn't walk away without posting this intended jab at Vaucluse's literacy, which contain three spelling errors:

"Undefendable" was referring to your view point. But don't beat yourself up Vauclause, I wont hold your lack of qualification or literacy against you.

I couldn't resist the irony, could I ~ just sitting out there in the open and I do have a reputation as being a bit of a fascist when it comes to grammar, so really - it was a perfect storm. Here's to a Happy Monday everyone!

Hmm, I've yet to figure out what you mean . . . but I'll get there!