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Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Relocating, travelling or planning to make Singapore home? Discuss the criterias, passes or visa that is required.
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korosensei
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Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by korosensei » Wed, 09 Oct 2024 3:21 am

I’ve been lurking around this forum for 10 years now. I’ve been an aspiring PR for a decade, with my PR application still pending for a year. Now, I’m contemplating whether to stay here any longer, but my husband won’t let me leave Singapore. I feel like I’ve missed so many opportunities just waiting for a PR application that isn’t even guaranteed. I received two job offers from New Zealand, which would have paid me twice as much as my current salary, but I turned them down because my husband said to wait for the PR application results. But it’s still pending, and there’s no certainty about the outcome.

Now, I’ve received another offer from the same company in New Zealand, and this time they’ve increased the offer to three times the original amount. I really want to accept it, but my husband insists on waiting for the PR results. This process is taking so long, and I feel like I’ve missed so many opportunities waiting for something that isn’t even certain. I’m just venting. My job role here is very niche, and it’s also niche in New Zealand, which is why they keep offering me these opportunities.

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by newsingaporeuser » Wed, 09 Oct 2024 7:20 am

So many missed opportunities ... and also so many copy and paste posts!!

Not been here long, so I might misjudge the forum, so mods please delete if inappropriate.

I think there are a number of things to unpack here. First is that it's clearly frustrating that you want a job that's on offer and you aren't able to take it. Also, it's not clear if you've been applying (and being rejected) from PR for a decade; or if you wanted PR for a decade have only applied in the last year or so. If it's the latter, then one year is not really that long. Is there any reason your husband is so keen to stay? Is he Singapore/PR? Is his job not transferrable? And I suppose another issue would be if your total post-tax family income would be better if you both moved to New Zealand. I know a number of couples who have considered moving but when they do the sums, it doesn't make sense.

I hope you and your husband can find a compromise that doesn't cause you so much anxiety.

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by Strong Eagle » Wed, 09 Oct 2024 9:55 am

Here's the thing about Singapore PR... the "permanent" part of it isn't really permanent at all.

It's really more like an expanded, extended work permit which allows you to change jobs anytime you like without having to apply for another permit. Any other benefits that accrue to PR have been steadily eroded away over time... things like being able to send your children to public schools without cost.

As I said, the permanent part is not permanent. You get a max of 5 years before you have to renew again. If you're too long out of the country or you become unemployed you might find that you're only renewed for a year, or maybe not at all. Singapore PR has no certainty to it in this modern day and age.

You don't mention what your husband's status is... PR? Citizen? EP?... or whether you are happily married or not. But I don't know why your husband would insist that you continue to wait for something that might not happen (and processing that takes a year doesn't engender a great deal of hope), and even if you get it, can be revoked, and may not be renewed should you decide to retire in Singapore... which means you won't be retiring after all.

Why does he want to stay? What does he lose if he moves to NZ with you? What does he lose if you move to NZ by yourself? What do you lose and what do you gain if you move to NZ by yourself?

That's what I would be asking.
korosensei wrote:
Wed, 09 Oct 2024 3:21 am
I’ve been lurking around this forum for 10 years now. I’ve been an aspiring PR for a decade, with my PR application still pending for a year. Now, I’m contemplating whether to stay here any longer, but my husband won’t let me leave Singapore. I feel like I’ve missed so many opportunities just waiting for a PR application that isn’t even guaranteed. I received two job offers from New Zealand, which would have paid me twice as much as my current salary, but I turned them down because my husband said to wait for the PR application results. But it’s still pending, and there’s no certainty about the outcome.

Now, I’ve received another offer from the same company in New Zealand, and this time they’ve increased the offer to three times the original amount. I really want to accept it, but my husband insists on waiting for the PR results. This process is taking so long, and I feel like I’ve missed so many opportunities waiting for something that isn’t even certain. I’m just venting. My job role here is very niche, and it’s also niche in New Zealand, which is why they keep offering me these opportunities.

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by malcontent » Wed, 09 Oct 2024 11:59 am

The only jobs I can think of that would pay 3x the salary in NZ vs SG would maybe be a nurse?

My brother’s wife is a nurse (orig. from the PI) and now makes close to S$10k monthly in the USA and only works 3 days a week.

If you are a nurse, you should definitely migrate, no ifs, ands or buts.
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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by korosensei » Wed, 09 Oct 2024 1:54 pm

I’ve been in the railway industry, working for a statutory board, for the past 10 years while living in Singapore. My husband is a Singapore PR.

I applied for PR twice, in 2016 and 2019, but both applications were rejected. These applications were submitted when I was single.

In 2023, my husband applied for my PR under the Family Ties Scheme, but it is still pending.

I received a job offer in New Zealand for a position similar to my current one, except I would be overseeing several MRT lines across different states.

Recently, I received another offer from my former boss, who is now in Canada after setting up a mining company there. I discussed this with my husband again, but his response was the same—he wants me to wait for the PR result.

I feel like I’ve missed out on many opportunities while waiting for PR, which is very uncertain.

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by korosensei » Wed, 09 Oct 2024 1:56 pm

Further to my previous response, my husband is Malaysian Chinese, and he told me he is uncomfortable with the idea of migrating to another country where he would have to start from scratch. I’m the only one who has received a job offer, and he’s unsure if he can find a job there quickly. My husband is an Electrical Professional Engineer (PE) in Singapore.

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by MOCHS » Wed, 09 Oct 2024 6:08 pm

Aren’t there people who were overseas when their PR outcome is released? Then they come back to complete formalities.

And they move back to SG afterwards to confirm their intention to sink roots or else REP won’t be so easily renewed.

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by malcontent » Thu, 10 Oct 2024 10:24 am

I’m in the process of moving from Singapore to the US right now, and I just had dinner this evening with someone who did the same thing 15 years ago. We both agreed… it’s not easy.

Some of you reading this might think that personal safety is a major factor, but I can tell you unequivocally that it is a complete and total non-factor, constituting 0% consideration. Other than increased awareness and usual precautions, it hasn’t even crossed our radar.

What is a major factor?

Household duties: I’ve often said that having cheap, full-time, live-in help in Singapore is one of the biggest perks… and it sure is. You will quickly realize that preparing meals, washing dishes, cleaning the house and washing & ironing clothes are major chores that consume at least an hour or two each day, even if you are efficient and utilize disposable cups, a clothes dryer and a dish washer. Our kids no longer need a sitter — that can be a major consideration too.
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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by malcontent » Thu, 10 Oct 2024 10:41 am

korosensei wrote:
Wed, 09 Oct 2024 1:56 pm
Further to my previous response, my husband is Malaysian Chinese, and he told me he is uncomfortable with the idea of migrating to another country where he would have to start from scratch. I’m the only one who has received a job offer, and he’s unsure if he can find a job there quickly. My husband is an Electrical Professional Engineer (PE) in Singapore.
I have known many Malaysian Chinese who have the same mindset… very conservative. They convert their earnings to MYR and it feels like a CEO salary. Also, there may be a cultural element of the man wanting to be the breadwinner.

I imagine that a PE in Singapore would need to study and pass the equivalent electrical certification in whatever country you move to. They are likely to be in good demand and make better money, but it will require diligence and patience.

Would your single salary in Canada be more than your combined salary in Singapore? Are there any close family connections to consider? The decision probably depends more on your life situation than money. Are you at the point in your lives where uprooting wouldn’t be disruptive?
It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows - Epictetus

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by smoulder » Thu, 10 Oct 2024 11:30 am

Years ago, when my wife was still a Malaysian and I was on EP, we discussed trying to get an Australian PR. My wife's concern was that she would struggle to find work there. In theory it was a valid concern since she was into IT sales in the ASEAN region primarily with some exposure in the wider Asian region. So she was worried that with no Australian market exposure, she might not be able to find work easily. Like I said, in theory, a valid concern, except that we wouldn't know until we actually tried.

Sometimes these worries could be valid concerns, but in your case I'm more inclined to believe that it could be more likely along the lines of what Mal pointed out.

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by Wd40 » Sat, 12 Oct 2024 12:55 pm

Singapore is the best country to make enough money and then go back "Home". The problem is many people lose their identity of home. Either by marrying here to Asians or their home is where they are a minority and they don't really feel at home there.

So Malaysian and Indonesian Chinese and minorities from India feel more at home in Singapore than the place they were born.

But for someone like me, who hasn't entangled their life after coming here and kept things clean, it is very easy and straightforward decision. Make money here while you can and then go home.

I think the feelings are mutual, this is why I have been denied PR inspite of living here for 15 years.

Singapore does a great job in identifying who are the people who are more likely to abandon their place they were born, because they are certain race/caste/religion and they don't identify themselves with their home.

Vs People who absolutely long to go back home and are applying for PR only for convenience and more likely than not will go back closer to retirement.

They most likely have a database and a complex algorithm based on our last names, city of birth, siblings, parents age, occupation etc

So much so that people like me applys for PR, it is like auto reject with timer set for 4 months. Even though it is in the system to never give us PR, we will never be given a clue :(

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by malcontent » Sat, 12 Oct 2024 1:28 pm

I believe korosensei is from the Philippines, and Filipinos are some of the most adaptable people on the planet, able to move far away and assimilate faster and easier than most. The fact that so many Filipinos do this means they are never alone, and the idea of doing this is ingrained since young. Just about every Filipino has a few relatives living abroad.

I am sorry to say this, but my Indian friends would agree… Indians are some of the least adaptive, and tend to stick to their own culture and even food when they go abroad. Not everyone, of course, but this even shows up in US census data, where Indian females are the least likely among all Asians to marry outside of their race.
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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by Wd40 » Sat, 12 Oct 2024 3:19 pm

malcontent wrote:
Sat, 12 Oct 2024 1:28 pm
I believe korosensei is from the Philippines, and Filipinos are some of the most adaptable people on the planet, able to move far away and assimilate faster and easier than most. The fact that so many Filipinos do this means they are never alone, and the idea of doing this is ingrained since young. Just about every Filipino has a few relatives living abroad.

I am sorry to say this, but my Indian friends would agree… Indians are some of the least adaptive, and tend to stick to their own culture and even food when they go abroad. Not everyone, of course, but this even shows up in US census data, where Indian females are the least likely among all Asians to marry outside of their race.
You don't have to be sorry :) I think most Indians are proud about this and look at it as a virtue to preserve their culture and identity.

Filipinos were ruled by the Spanish and converted to Catholics and their names are Espanol and then they were ruled by British/Americans? So they are much more liberal and adaptable than their neighbours, the Malays and Indonesians for example.

India had the caste system and the lower caste Hindus easily converted to Islam/Christianity and they do not subscribe the mainstream Indian/Hindu identity and they are more similar to the Filipinos and can't wait to get out of the country. There are exceptions of course.

I think it is human nature, we all go to where we are treated best.

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by smoulder » Sat, 12 Oct 2024 4:41 pm

Indian upper caste folks also converted to Islam and Christianity. I know - I'm one of them (Christian).

Whether it's converts or it's folks who are still Hindus, because of generations of so called "privilege" (basically having sufficient funds to access education), inevitably the Indians abroad are upper caste Hindus or Muslims /Christians converted from upper castes. Just look around and you'll know what I mean. So I don't think Indians are happy to ditch India because of being lower caste. I think it's more cultural - we are hard working enough to do well outside when we do have the means to get out of India, but conservative so that even outside of India we seek the comfort of our "own" people, culture and food. It's not unusual to hear of Indians overseas who don't mind dating outside of the community just for the "thrill" of the experience, but the moment it's time to settle down and marry, you'll find us seeking an Indian spouse.

Filipinos, especially women tend to be extremely resilient and part of their resilience stems from being able to adapt to other cultures.

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Re: Missed So Many Oppurtunities

Post by sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 13 Oct 2024 11:44 am

@ smoulder

I hear you. My daughter is one of the ones who ''upset the applecart" when she married her husband. He's a pure blood Malayali (but as high caste, they are all Syrian Orthodox Catholics). Both parents are long term PR's (like me at around 30 years each). My Son-in-Law is now an SGC having been 'offered' SGC if he would go to Officer Candidate School. He's a SAF Cpt NS man today, He's also has a BSc/MSc/PhD in Aeronautical Engineering. But the Marriage was a bit of an issue although it resolved itself beautifully. Him being Malayali and my Daughter being a No-Caste half-breed Tamil cause a fair bit of consternation with his parents (father) and dead-set against the union. Took a fair bit of time to get us two old men to break bread and have a talk but eventually we did It. He didn't want to lose his only child and Shanu was determine to marry my daughter. *I now have two grandsons of 4 & 8 years of age from that union. Oh, the father & I now get along famously, and while staying at their Bungalow he introduced me to Kerela Toddy (both green and late in the evening as it reaches it's peak) and that was a good start to us burying the hatchet.
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